June 13, 2021 Sunday Evening
I just got back from the hospital, Steve was pretty sleepy, but responsive to my voice especially if I stopped talking and he would open his eyes and I would reassure him that I was still there. He also responded to his sister who FB messaged me a video and had a voicemail for him. I spent time massaging his feet, calves, hands and arms to help with fluid retention as well as keeping his muscles moving. He loved it and was watching me minister to him and sing along with worship music from Church this morning. I didn't get definitive answers to questions today, but again he was sleepy, and, well, massage?!? Who wants to answer questions then? 😁 I talked to Dr. Mendi. Steve is not currently on constant temp monitoring, so that machine is gone. They don't need the big air thing that makes his room negative air pressure, so that noise is gone. He is totally off his BP meds and is doing well, and the respiratory therapist was pleased by his breathing progress! Lots of good stuff there that bring stability so His body can heal from the big stuff. At this point, they are just being watchful of his high heart rate, the treatments have too many negatives for them to be considered, so we all need to pray for his heart to convert to normal beats and stop that fluttering that happens here and there! His kidneys are still dependent on dialysis for the time being and they need to wake up, and of course brain healing.
This morning, I kept thinking: "Do you trust me?" I felt like The Lord asking, as my spirit was stirred. As I went past, in my mind, my current situation and back to my almost 30 years, and, even seeing His hand in my life prior to my salvation, I had to answer "Yes Lord". You see, through it all, He has always been right beside me, protecting, guiding, disciplining, cheering, blessing. Through it all. He has never left me, was never surprised by something I did that was unkind, never shook a finger at me and shamed me. He always convicted me in love, forgave, and helped me do better. Of course, even though I battle through fear, I trust Him. He has always brought me through. The cool thing is that He does it in so many ways! Sometimes through His word sustaining me, or a feeling in my spirit stirring me, sometimes directly through His hands and feet here on earth ministering to me, or even, what I call God winks.
God winks... see, God knows the secret desires of my heart, and sometimes He uses them to Love on me and to let me know He hasn't forgotten me. For example. I LOVE woodpeckers! We have so many kinds on our property and I asked, at one point, a few weeks ago for a woodpecker to land on my deck rail and look in the window at me. If you know woodpeckers, you know they don't really land on flat surfaces, normally on the trunks of trees which are up and down. I was writing an update on Steve, feeling a bit lost and scared and I looked out the window in front of me to watch a downy woodpecker land right outside the window on the rail. It sat there and looked in at me, then flitted to the rail below. It then flew off to a tree. What a thrill. He has given me a Pileated pair, families of beautiful red-headed, lots of red-breasted and hairy woodpeckers. I am so thankful for a God who is creative in showing His love for me.
This morning at Church, after I felt the "Do you trust me" question. The band played a song that said; "you called my name, and I ran out of that grave!", as well as a song that said; "You called me out upon the water...I will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves". That is all about trust. When Jesus called Peter out of the boat, to walk on the water with him. He was in relationship with Jesus and trusted him with everything he had... but, then the world, and he considered, the wind and the waves. He took his eyes off of Jesus when he considered what was going on around him. I want to be in and stay in that place of total trust in Jesus that no matter the report, my eyes are stayed on Jesus and not the wind and the waves of Steve's (and my)circumstances. Do I trust Him. I am learning, more and more. I am putting more of my weight on the water, my hand in Jesus' hand. Do I trust Him. When I trust Him and keep my eyes on Him, He washes me with His peace. Do I trust Him... I know that I know, that Steve is far better cared for by Jesus, I know that he is in His hands, His timing, His healing touch, he is hemmed in and protected and loved so dearly as he heals. I trust Jesus with my best friend and love. I trust Him with my path, my life, my agenda, my finances, my future. As I grow in more and more trust and surrender, I also am more and more abounding in His blessings, presence, and our growing relationship. Trust Him, Turn your eyes upon Him. Love you all, have a blessed week.
https://youtu.be/2TH70QX3oyM
Comments
- Jeannine Santo ZupoThe woodpecker is your yellow car! And oh the yellow finch stories we have! All God winks. I have that beautiful song in my head and will fall asleep to it praying for you all…. When you called my name- I ran out of the grave! 🤍🙏6/13/21
- janet matzkerWe are praying! So comforting to KNOW that on any given day we are being held in His unchanging arms of love and faithfulness.6/13/21
- Courtney FosterTurn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grown strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. ❤️🙏🥰6/13/21
- Laura MustakasPraying for you, Heather, and Kaiti. Your posts are so encouraging! and your faith is so strong even during this difficult season. Praying for endurance for you and healing for Steve.6/13/21
- Sandy SteinLove the testimony about the woodpecker. ❤️🙏6/13/21
- Nicole HorschI love how you love your man and your God❤️6/13/21
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