May 24, 2021 Late
Monday Wrap up
The girls and I had a lovely few hours together and I am so thankful for our precious daughters. As we all know reality is always waiting for us, but that time of refreshing was wonderful. I just want to shout out to our Health Share, Samaritan Ministries(a different kind of insurance). What a blessing they are to walk beside me, encourage me, pray for me and help me walk through this. They are a comfort to know that they are on the team. I also talked to the case manager for Steve and I felt like I was trying to take a sip out of a firehose. They are very kind and compassionate, but so much information and future. It took me several hours to get out of the "what is coming in the future" head space, back to my spirit. I talked to Dr. Mendi around 930 and he brought me right back. He said, the case manager is always looking far out, we are looking right here, right now and laying the groundwork towards the future. He encouraged me to stay right here, where Steve is and really celebrate the sometimes seemingly incremental steps which are really huge steps toward Steve's wholeness.
Today, Steve had dialysis again, each day they have been getting 1 liter of fluid off of him and today, they got 2 liters! He said that that is huge in his kidney function, breathing, and neurologically too. They will decide again in the morning whether they will do it again or not, but his kidney numbers are continuing to make jumps in the right direction! Dr. Mendi noticed that every time he said Steve, he opened his eyes and looked in the direction of the sound! He is moving his head more and his arms and legs are moving in response to stimuli. He was greatly encouraged by all of this as it shows so much neurological healing. I have a meeting tomorrow with Dr. Lee and the surgeon to talk about and put a date on the trach and peg(feeding tube). Dr. Mendi said that I can go up to the door and talk to him! I miss him so much!
We have to be so careful in this world, we have so much information thrown at us that creates fear of tomorrow, what may or may not happen and all the what-ifs. It creates in us a need to control, or know what is going to happen. This brings anxiety, depression, terrible places to be. We were never created to carry the weight of tomorrow. We were not created to carry the weight of yesterday with all the failures, self-condemnation and judgement. We were created and formed for today, the present. When I was so overwhelmed and got scared and so sad. I was taking on the weight of the world. It is crushing.
I "happened" to look at my phone and saw a notification from one of my precious prayer warriors that she had uploaded a prayer video. I clicked and felt like I was coming out of the dark. I listened to another and I could see the light as I turned my gaze from tomorrow(s), to Jesus and His word. I felt His peace start to enter into all those fear-filled places, restoring me. I turned on a simple praise song with one verse: "There is none like you You alone are worthy of all honor and praise There’s no other name "(Legacy Worship). So simple, so powerful. He is more powerful than anything others say. There are a million possibilities. Choosing each moment to not sit and work through them, to instead dig into His word and just be thankful and tell Him how I love him brought me back to the beautiful, peaceful place of trust in this present moment. This isn't escape, there isn't escape from many circumstances excepting The Lord. His ways are higher, His thoughts are better. I choose those over what others say. I choose to walk this journey with the One who is walking with me in this moment and I trust the next because I can see all through our history, His faithfulness to me.
I think about all of the families represented by the 12 beds. Do they know Him, have they ever felt His peace when there shouldn't be any? Lord, I pray Your mighty hand over the ICU, each precious person in the beds, for your healing and presence, I pray each family is held, loved and provided for in all ways like we are. I can't imagine this walk without Jesus and all of you, His ministering angels here on earth. I pray the laborers would rise up and reach out in a bold way they never have before when they hear of someone in need physically, mentally, spiritually, in the hospital or in your every day. I know that after this experience, I will be stepping forward in a new and different way and ministering to those experiencing the deepest traumas from a deep place that is being created through this. Thank you Lord, for opening my eyes, for walking with me through this valley that I may be used by You with a new understanding. He is so good. Have a blessed Tuesday loves.
Comments
- Jeannine Santo ZupoYou....!!! So inspiring. God is good. All the time.5/25/21
- Audra Ortlieb MiksaMay the Lord continue to move Steve's health in a positive direction. May he continue to bring physical and spiritual strength to you and your children. We are praying that he makes a full recovery and that his recovery will shine God's light into places it has been previously dark.5/25/21
- Diana FletcherI don't know how it's possible, but I would dearly love to see our elders and pastors be able to anoint him with oil and pray for his healing. Trying to think outside the box, but I am confident that He knows the desire, the willingness to obey, the faith in His power, and every other bit of this and how He wants to work. Praising the Lord for Samaritan Ministries! I have heard witness of powerful ministering through them and the love of their members. Praying for you and the girls, Steve, his medical staff and the other families who don't have the same eternal perspective and hope in this terribly trying, faith-building time. You could already write a book. Thank you for the updates.5/25/21
- Christine HuchthausenWhat a blessing that you are so surrounded by people who love you and want to support you--your girls, friends, family, care-givers...and even your insurance company! I am praising the Lord that you are seeing His goodness in the midst of the struggle. I continue to pray.5/25/21
- Fine HeartYou all are always in my heart. LOVE you got to have girl time and minister to your lovies. Praise Him for all the steps in the right direction. Little step by little step. May we trust Him in all our steps, little or big. May we glorify Him in all we do, big or little. May we show Jesus to everyone around us for His glory and honor. Continuing to pray for you!5/25/21
- eileen candelariaPrecious Heather, thank you for allowing the Lord to use you as a vessel to bless everyone who reads this and each one that you pray over and minister to. We are praying faithfully.5/25/21
- Jan MarieWhat a remarkable God we serve. When Steve's body is restored to wholeness, you will help other hearts be restored to wholeness, as well.5/25/21
- Ann PoulterI am so glad you had that precious time with your girls. There will be many more that will include Steve. We are not promised tomorrow so make every moment count today. “Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He feels my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the Eagles!“ Psalm 103:2 -5 💜5/25/21
- Nicole HorschUp and praying and giving thanks for the little things. We continue to give God the big things and we will focus on the little ones - We love you and are in prayer all day ❤️5/25/21
- Heather RumentsHere is my friend's FB page, her prayers are also uploaded to Youtube and she has a fantastic book on teaching kids how to pray which is so simple and deep, it is great for everyone! https://www.facebook.com/Olawunmi.tv5/25/21
- Olawunmi FajobiLove you, Heather!5/25/21
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